Buses dont always run to the timetables

So if you have read any of my posts you'll have learned that i finished with my boyfriend a few weeks ago. There was no love lost - so don't feel sorry for me. He in fact turned out to be not a nice person, a liar as such.
In all fairness to my feminine instinct (which i should have bloody listened to) i knew it was never going to last!!
Despite knowing this it is still upsetting when something comes to an end in your life. I mean I've gotten upset over a pudding finishing, or a good Italian dish!! So something you've invested a lot of time in is bound to be upsetting.
However, out of all of this i have learnt a very important lesson; a lesson in fact that another ex of mine tried to teach me a long time ago, and that is, not everyone is like me. Not everyone follows through with what they say. Sometimes people say things and don't actually do it. I don't understand this and i find it very pointless. It has taken me many, many years to get my head around it and current ex seems to have been the one who has finally made me get to grips with it.
Maybe its because i always try and see the good in people. Who knows, but had i of grasped this prior to my ex then i wouldn't have been so upset when i never received my birthday present (a 40 inch flat screen TV) I wouldn't have been shocked that we didn't book our trip to Morocco or New York and dating back to our first week of our relationship and the promise of going to Jazz clubs together - guess what, we never went to one of them either.

So i am now a single girl again. At first when "the ex" decided to post it on Facebook that he was "no longer in a relationship" i freaked. I wasn't ready to deal with the endless questions. Alas i did and with the questions came the offers. Not of a shouldn't to cry on (i had that from my amazing girlfriends of course) but the offers from guy friends. It seems as though a number of my guy friends were rather happy to offer their "services!" Not what i was looking for at that time, so i graciously declined their offer for the time being!
This made me somewhat depressed, is that all i was good for, why did they not want to date me?
I am a little old fashioned and i love the idea of dating someone, doing it properly so to speak - the hopeless romantic coming out in me again.
Then the offers of dates started coming. I had someone whom i had just met a few weeks prior wanting to come and meet me. I was going to cook for us, a bottle of wine or 2, film, chatting, the norm.... He cancelled THREE HOURS BEFORE!!!
Then i had a long term on/off interest ask me out to dinner. He is amazing company and this i was excited about..... He cancelled, twice. For work (his job is demanding so fair enough) Said he'd be in touch on his return (Sunday afternoon) to do something that night.... 10.30PM he got in touch. He'd been with his friends!!
Then Mr Long Distance. He wanted to come to my city for a night out.... Didn't cancel, just wouldn't commit to a date.
Then another new one, a friend of a friend. Who i shouldn't slate just yet - he has asked me out to lunch. So far our diaries have not had the same opening - so we shall see.
And finally.... The one i hoped would not..... mentioned getting together twice this week. I am still waiting! I have hinted. Short of saying - So are we getting together this weekend or not i don't know what else to do!

So to sum this up:
Men =Buses = Don't run to the timetable as shown = What men say and what men do are two VERY different things!
GIRLS - Wait. Actions speak louder than words and until your there or until your holding it, don't count on it arriving!!

Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts Official Video

I love this song and its title - i actually think of little candy or biscuit type hearts in a jar, decorated with polka dots and stars. I imagine her giving them out and ending up with an empty jar - when in fact we should all keep a few for our self love! xoxo

No I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I've learned to live, half-alive
Now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

Dear, it took so long
Just to feel alright
Remember how to put back
The light in my eyes

I wish I had missed
The first time that we kissed
'Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back you don't get to get me back

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

The Naked Truth

I love Vanity Fair.
Its possibly one of the only magazines that comes through to me that has such a diverse range of topics and a wide variety of fabulous writers. All of which i can really get into and almost hear them as i am reading (Something which is important to me - if i don't do this i loose interest)

This week my magazine came through and straight away i was drawn to the piece named:
The Sleekest, Sexiest, Curviest in Nude Portraiture—an Archive of V.F.’s “Best Undressed”
Archive Photos: Vanity Fair’s Classic Nude Portraits Culture Vanity Fair

This is an article with 28 photos of the best naked people that have been photographed over the years.
It is beautiful.
As i was looking at all of these people, men and women i got to thinking how each and every photo spoke so many words. I imagined the same photo but with the person wearing clothes and the image was so very different.
There was something about all of these naked people that oozed truth, longing, passion and a deeper meaning to them. This wouldn't be possible with clothes on. You could almost see their fears and desires.

It made me think of what my professional photo would be like if i too was to pose naked. Would it open my eyes to what i possibly attempt to block out.
Then i thought - what if when we wanted the truth from people, we simply sat them down naked?

Having just come out of a relationship with someone whom i truly cared for but he turned out to not in fact care for me, for a longer period of time that was necessary and in turn put me through months of hoping and wishing, trying and wanting. I thought - if i had of sat you down five months ago and had all the conversations that i tried to have with you in that time and failed to get any answers, but done it naked - would you have possibly told me the truth?
Would you have saved me five months by simply saying " I'm sorry, i don't love you. I don't want to be with you and in all honesty would rather not be your friend right now!" The sentence he actually TEXT to me after a dramatic exchanging of belongings.
Would i have been able to see the truth through his nakedness?
I guess i will never know this time, but do you think any future partners i may have will mind if i take this route?
Hopefully i will find someone who can be truthful with their clothes on as well as off and once they are off there is a totally different way of figuring out their fears and desires!!

What really lies beneath your exterior?

I get a number of email's from different sites sent through to me. I find they are a good time filler when you have five minutes to kill.
It was from a site that i came across the book "Fragments"
Fragments offers a sensitive and personal insight into the mysterious and tragic Marilyn Monroe through never-before-seen letters, poems, intimate notes, as well as some rare photographs. It offers the reader a
unique look into the private thoughts and reflections of one of Hollywood's brightest and most tragic stars.
I enjoyed this as there was a lot that i wasn't aware of, giving you more of an idea about her life.

Today i came across this;

New Chanel biography claims Coco was a bisexual drug-taker - Telegraph

I am not a massive fashion follower. Nor am i "bang on trend" But i like reading and finding out about the people behind the famous fashion houses that have become such a large part of our world today.
From socks to chandelier's. Designers have a wonderful artistic talent that stems back many years, and every year something more beautiful, intricate and luxurious for million's of us to coo over. Some on a waiting list for the next amazing creation and some pawing over the glossy magazines and only dreaming of being able to afford such delights.

Yet what lies beneath all of that flair?
Does one have to be a little extrovert? Kooky? Lonely?
I think it helps. I don't think you will find any type of designer that is mundane a run-of-the-mill Joe Blogs type. In fact anyone with any artistic talents in general.
So to read this article and find out that Coco Chanel took drugs, embraced bisexuality and had an affair with Salvador Dali while he was married did not come as a shock to me at all.
I would have been shocked to have found out she was as straight laced as my Secondry school Art teacher - but then she was my Art teacher, so who knows.
They say its the quite ones you have to be careful of!!