Aware but sometimetimes not awake!!

When i put the word "aware" into my thesaurus it spat the following words back at me:

Conscious, alert, attentive, awake, responsive, sentient, interested, perceptive.

As i go through life i am finding out more and more about myself. A lot of these things would have been helpful to know when i was younger and i feel i would have had more direction, had i have known.

Being very aware and perceptive is one of these things and i

Then i started to think, am i aware? I know half the time i feel asleep, definitely not awake. Or am i in fact just curious?So i put the word "curious" into my thesaurus it spat the following words back at me:
Inquisitive, interested, enquiring, questioning, probing, nosy, prying and snooping.
Hmmm, definitely inquisitive and questioning and on seeing a link on my Vanity Fair email quite possibly nosy:
Photos: The 2011 Vanity Fair Oscar Party: vanityfair.com
As i flicked through the fabulous photos of all the famous people, some beautiful and some aged. I realised i loved the photos that weren't posed for, the ones that they didn't know had been taken. In them there was more of a story and more character to the person. It lead me to start wondering what they were thinking, talking about and laughing at. Yet whilst thinking about all of this, my eyes were flicking around the picture, looking at the people in the background and what was going on around them.
I have a rule when taking my own photos, mainly in places of interest, and that is, always turn around after you have shot your subject, you never know what delights are behind you. From following this rule i have seen and captured so many beautiful sights i would have missed otherwise.
So i conclude with, i may be aware, i may be perceptive, sometimes I'm awake, sometimes i am nosy, but overall i am 100% totally and utterly, without rhyme or reason, curious. have often thought this, usually whilst driving and spotting magpies, not two of them but just the one, which in the rhyme is for sorrow, this i feel is not good! When i spy him i do the mandatory salute and the line "Hello Mr Magpie, hows your wife and kids" Then i think to myself, god damn being so aware. If i wasn't looking around so much i wouldn't have seen this bird, which could consequently bring me bad luck today.

Indecisive?

I cant decide if i am extremely indecisive or i just like a multitude of different things.

A perfect example is my daughter's name.
I don't not like it anymore, but i don't love it either. I wish i had of called her something else and the worse thing is, she also wishes i had too. I think the reason behind calling her something i didn't love was everyone else and the pressure. We (her dad and I) named her straight away and i think that's where we went wrong. We should have waited and seen the type of person she was first, but no, we rushed into it.

I am the same with my book.
As i am re reading it to edit it i am finding i want to change bits, not that i am not happy with it so far but i have read it so many times already i think i am bored...
I have also come up with three different endings. Two of which are a definate end and the third leaves a follow on book availible. Which is risky - because what if the first doesn't get published or it totally bombs... Again, Indecisive!!

Maybe i just get bored very easily. Now this is a bad thing and to be honest, now i am thinking about it, that ties up with a lot of things surrounding my life.
Relationships
Jobs
Cars
General day to day stuff

However, when something is really great and interesting that i can get my teeth fully into it, i am all over it. I love it, i give it my everything.
Wow, all of this thinking about me as a person is really confusing me... I should go eat lunch and zone out to some daytime TV!!

Warm rain!

Not sunshine on a rainy day - Rain on a sunshine day!
After it has been hot and sunny, when the ground is dry and the air goes from being heavy and sticky to light, fresh and crisp. It can smell a little foisty but has under-tones of cut grass.
Once there has been a good down pour, the sun creeps out again and you can see the pavements steaming as everything starts to dry out again.
Reminds me of being a little girl, in the summer holidays when for six weeks solid you had sunshine and blue skies every day, then on the odd day a small down pour would occur. 



Rain on a sunshine day



Sometimes on an evening the clouds would gather angrily, darkening the heavy sky and you would see a flash of thunder, followed by a clap of thunder and then the heavens would open. You would run indoors as quickly as possible because this type of storm was cold and you didn't want to be struck down by lightening in your shorts and vest!!





Thunderstorms - Angry clouds"

Cleverly put together words = Quotes

One thing that really gets my mind ticking and sometimes even clear it are "Quotes"

http://www.thinkexist.com/ is possibly one of the best sites i have found, whether you want to type in the subject of a quote or if you know the author of the quote. They have everything. Even lines from songs. You can submit your favourite quotes and my favourite part, you get to create your own virtual book. Here you can create chapters and add quotes that you come across to the relevant chapters in your book.

Sometimes if i have posted on here, stalked a few friends on Facebook, seen what's going on with the famous people on Twitter, i will go on here and find a quote that mirrors how i am feeling that day. This will then become my Facebook status update.

My favourite's usually come from E.E Cummings, Lewis Caroll and Dr Suess. Winnie the Pooh can even say some very amusing things also!!

Take a look yourself and create your own book, see how they make you feel.... Warm, giggly, subdued, angry? Let me know.

Twisted fairytale

If you have read my first post "My first time" you will have read that i am writing (or trying to write) my first novel. It will be a chic-lit, its what i know best and they say to write about what you know. I figured out (possibly later than i should have) that all those fairytales you are read at a young age aren't necessarily true. So, i am trying to make my novel a twisted real life fairytale. I completely believe that there is someone for everyone, that sometimes there may be even two people. I believe that love is a beautiful yet sometimes painful part of everyones life and no matter what you choose to do, avoid it like the plague or throw yourself into it head first you should treat it like a roller coaster - it will stop when it needs to and its up to you if you choose to get off or stay on, you may laugh, cry, scream or be in complete shock but embrace it and learn from it. Love can be very different and 9 times out of 10 it wont be the same but you can guarantee that the same emotions will be stirred inside of you.
I have also found that my best writing is done at night, i write very differently during the day. I don't know if this is normal as i have never met anyone else who has attempted to write a book.
I am guessing its different for everyone.
Recently i have been panicking about how i should end it. I know how i would like it to end but i don't think its going too. Instead i have come up with a cunning plan of an alternative ending that can, if i choose, lead onto another book!!
Luckily for me my dear friend has an English degree and is soooo very kindly reading and tweaking what i am writing before i send it off to be scrutinised by the big bad wolves of the novel world!!
So keep your eyes, ears and always your hearts open, you never know when there maybe Butterflies.....