Maroon 5 - Payphone (Explicit) ft. Wiz Khalifa

Great new song from a VERY hot man!!

I'm at a payphone trying to call home
All of my change I spent on you
Where have the times gone
Baby it's all wrong, where are the plans we made for two?

Yeah, I, I know it's hard to remember
The people we used to be
It's even harder to picture
That you're not here next to me
You say it's too late to make it
But is it too late to try?
And in our time that you wasted
All of our bridges burned down

I've wasted my nights
You turned out the lights
Now I'm paralyzed
Still stuck in that time when we called it love
But even the sun sets in paradise

I'm at a payphone trying to call home
All of my change I spent on you
Where have the times gone
Baby it's all wrong, where are the plans we made for two?

If happy ever after did exist
I would still be holding you like this
All those fairytales are full of sh*t
One more stupid love song I'll be sick

You turned your back on tomorrow
Cause you forgot yesterday
I gave you my love to borrow
But just gave it away
You can't expect me to be fine
I don't expect you to care
I know I've said it before
But all of our bridges burned down

I've wasted my nights
You turned out the lights
Now I'm paralyzed
Still stuck in that time when we called it love
But even the sun sets in paradise

I'm at a payphone trying to call home
All of my change I spent on you
Where have the times gone
Baby it's all wrong, where are the plans we made for two?

If happy ever after did exist
I would still be holding you like this
All those fairytales are full of sh*t
One more stupid love song I'll be sick

Now I'm at a payphone...

[Wiz Khalifa]
Man work that sh*t
I'll be out spending all this money while you sitting round
Wondering why it wasn't you who came up from nothing
Made it from the bottom
Now when you see me I'm stunning
And all of my cars start with the push up a button
Telling me the chances I blew up or whatever you call it
Switched the number to my phone
So you never could call it
Don't need my name on my show
You can tell it I'm ballin'
Swish, what a shame could have got picked
Had a really good game but you missed your last shot
So you talk about who you see at the top
Or what you could've saw
But sad to say it's over for
Phantom pulled up valet open doors
Wiz like go away, got what you was looking for
Now ask me who they want
So you can go and take that little piece of sh*t with you

I'm at a payphone trying to call home
All of my change I spent on you
Where have the times gone
Baby it's all wrong, where are the plans we made for two?

If happy ever after did exist
I would still be holding you like this
All those fairytales are full of sh*t
One more stupid love song I'll be sick

Now I'm at a payphone...

Emeli Sandé - My Kind Of Love. xoxo

I can't buy your love, don't even wanna try.
Sometimes the truth won't make you happy, so I'm not gonna lie.
But don't ever question if my heart beats only for you, it beats only for you.

I know i'm far from perfect, nothin' like your entourage
I can't grant you any wishes, I won't promise you the stars.
But don't ever question if my heart beats only for you, it beats only for you.

Cause when you've given up.
When no matter what you do it's never good enough.
When you never thought that it could ever get this tough,
Thats when you feel my kind of love.

And when you're crying out.
When you fall and then can't pick, you're heavy on the ground
When the friends you thought you had haven't stuck around.
That's when you feel my kind of love.

You won't see me at the parties, I guess I'm just no fun.
I won't be turning up the radio singing "Baby You're The One".
But don't ever question if my heart beats only for you, it beats only for you.

I know sometimes I get angry, and I say what i don't mean.
I know I keep my heart protected, far away from my sleeve.
But don't ever question if my heart beats only for you, it beats only for you.

Cause when you've given up.
When no matter what you do it's never good enough.
When you never thought that it could ever get this tough,
Thats when you feel my kind of love.

And when you're crying out.
When you fall and then can't pick, you're heavy on the ground
When the friends you thought you had haven't stuck around.
That's when you feel my kind of love.

Cause when you've given up.
When no matter what you do it's never good enough.
When you never thought that it could ever get this tough,
Thats when you feel my kind of love.

Sandi Thom - I wish I was a punk rocker

Such a fabulous song with such quirky lyrics, i had forgotten all about this little gem!!

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair,
In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air,
I was born too late to a world that doesn't care,
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair.

When the head of state didn't play guitar,
Not everybody drove a car,
When music really mattered and when radio was king,
When accountants didn't have control,
And the media couldn't buy your soul,
And computers were still scary and we didn't know everything.

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair,
In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air,
I was born too late to a world that doesn't care,
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair.

When popstars still remained a myth,
And ignorance could still be bliss,
And when God Save the Queen she turned a whiter shade of pale,
When my mom and dad were in their teens,
And anarchy was still a dream,
And the only way to stay in touch was a letter in the mail.

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair,
In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air,
I was born too late to a world that doesn't care,
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair.

When record shops were still on top,
and vinyl was all that they stocked,
and the super info-highway was still drifting out in space,
kids were wearing hand-me-downs,
And playing games meant kick arounds,
And footballers who had long hair and dirt across their face.

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair,
In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air,
I was born too late to a world that doesn't care,
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair.

I was born too late to a world that doesn't care,
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair.

True love is not Romeo and Juliet who died together. It is Grandma and Granddad who stayed together.

As a single 30 some girl, yes, girl, not lady. That sounds too posh! I am obviously open to male attention, in the hope that maybe, just maybe this man will be the man who could possibly complete me.
Therefore when i meet such individuals whom i like i will A: Ask them out or B; Agree to going out for dinner/drinks with them. The process to get to such a stage is very important in order for you to make the right decision and the one question that is always asked is "Are you seeing anyone at the moment." Now you have to take their answer as gospel and hope it is the answer you want to hear, if you didn't you would end up a bitter and twisted woman.

Recently met a lovely guy who was funny, charming, good looking, had a good job and was in my age range. He contacted me after a night out, we shared mutual friends and on posing the all important question he implied he was recently single. He explained he didn't want to go into detail over the phone and would rather tell me face to face what had happened. He had been with her for a number of years and the little he did tell me, it clearly wasn't the best break-up. Not that any really are.
I took this answer on face value and we arranged a date. Due to him not living in the same city and us both having prior arrangements our date would not be for three weeks. In this time we text, non-stop. A lot of laughs were shared, quick fire questions and truth or dare was played. I was really looking forward to meeting this guy. I hadn't dated seriously for a number of years and i really thought, this guy could be a good candidate. I am very careful due to having a daughter and i am not into playing games. I also do not believe in settling for second best and if i feel i am wasting my time i will get out of there. You don't have a dress rehearsal, this is your life - one shot, so do what you like and like what you do!
The weekend came and i was seriously sick, i had been ill all week and therefore had to postpone. Not a problem he said, we'll make it next Saturday. Fabulous, he's considerate as well!
Now they say everything happens for a reason... So, in the following week a friend of mine returned from her holidays and we had a little catch up via email where, i told her of my impending date, how excited i was and how amazing this guy was.
Well, to cut a long story short, turns out his Fiance and his TWO mistresses also found him amazing!!!
Yes i confronted him, he was due to get married, this year in fact. She had got cold feet and they were meant to meet up a few days prior to our date to try and sort things out. He said he was still going to come to my city and would leave it up to me as to whether we met or not. He text over the weekend. I am still unsure as to what his actual relationship status is but in all honesty, i don't care!!
Needless to say i did not meet him!!

It seems as though meeting men who are attached is my forte. Its not what i set out to do and it is 100% NOT my fault, contrary to what my male colleagues think (funnily enough when it was suggested that it WAS my fault that i met these men i did throw a diva fit!)

What upsets me, more than anything in this, is the audacity of this man. Why was he due to get married if all he wanted to do was cheat? Why does anyone get married if they are not 110% happy and 110% committed to that ONE person?

To me, marriage is NOT something you enter into lightly. I only want to do it the once and i want that person to be the right person for me. I want to grow old with him, i want to hold his hand at 90years old and kiss him passionatley. I only want to do it with him.

Call me an optimist, say i am disillusioned, tell me i am kidding myself. I don't care. I believe it can happen and regardless of all the men that take love for granted, for all the men that think loving someone is the same as being in love. They will never stop me believing. My Mr Right is out there.

True love is not Romeo and Juliet who died together. It is Grandma and Granddad who stayed together.

If you wait, it may be too late.

Over the past couple of years i have not only watched loved ones die but i have also watched friends watch their loved ones die.
This process is soul-destroying and something i never thought i would cope with very well. In fact when i found out that my own Grandparents, who mean the world to me had placed myself and my Cousin in charge of their Will, i could not believe it. "How will i cope" i thought, "Why on earth do they think I'd be strong enough to cope with dealing with that as well as dealing with them leaving me?"
Turns out they know me better than i know myself, because i can actually deal with the death of someone pretty well.

If someone leaves my life, moves away, chooses not to be my friend/lover/partner etc, i am utterly devastated. I can only surmise this as not being in control, not being able to stop them leaving and knowing i couldn't do anything to stop it even if i have tried my hardest.
However, when someone dies my ability to cope surpasses itself. I believe this is because death is inevitable. At some point we all have to die. I also believe that everyones path is laid out already for them and the point that we leave this earth is the point we were meant to. There is nothing anyone can do to stop it, its just how it is.

I also believe that they never really leave us.
I have times where i will be doing something and i will be able to hear their voice remind me of something. For example, my ex boyfriends Mum whom i cared about dearly taught me how to make gravy and would say to me "Don't forget, figure of eight" when i was stirring it. Now when i am stirring a sauce i hear her saying this. Is it my memory or is she there watching me? I don't know and i don't wish to figure it out, the fact i have that is good enough for me. I do know i am not mad or insane though.
Other times i will be in a dilemma and i will question myself and my choices and there she is, the lady who was like my surrogate Mum. Is it because deep down i know what she would say? Again, i don't know, but i am happy.

It is because of my beliefs that i also believe you should tell the people in your life that you love, that inspire you, that make you happy and that you think a lot of, these exact things.
We don't know when we are going to leave this earth, we don't know for sure if we do come back. What if we don't? What if the person you love with all your heart dies tomorrow, without warning? Did they know, truly how you really felt about them? What if your best friend passed away and you never got to tell them about how if it wasn't for them you'd never have gotten through that terrible break-up?

So don't wait, just tell them. You don't need a reason, its reason enough that you care so dearly for them.
Because if you wait, it may be too late.

Gabrielle Aplin - Fix You (BBC Introducing Maida Vale session)

NO need for words.
Chris Martin made my spine tingle and this verson gives me goose bumps - simply beautiful
xoxo

Learning the hard way

A lot has happened over the past few months. Not only to me but also friends of mine.
Every time i speak to someone about the problems that are surrounding their lives at the current time i am seeing the same pattern arsing; We are all learning lessons - the hard way!

As a small child when i had done something that hurt me my Mum would say "Well you wont do that again in a hurry will you"
The thing is,i rarely learnt as a child, not, to do it again. Then i got the line delivered to me "Have you not learnt your lesson!" Neither of these questions were actually questions, more rhetorical and i was never meant to answer them. If i remember rightly, if i did respond, it would result in an even bigger telling off and be described as 'answering back.'

Why did i do it time and time again though? The first time ended badly so why did i think that if i do it again its going to work?
Could it be the saying "Third time lucky" Another classic that is drilled into me. If this is the case, does this mean i'm going to get hurt three times before i do learn my lesson?

I will openly admit i will do something more than three times. Even if i get hurt, time and time again. This isn't because i am a glutton for punishment or because self-harm is something i do in my free time, but because i am an optimist. I always think, it will be better this time as it cant be any worse. If its a person that's hurt me, i think, they will have seen how much they hurt me the first time and surely they wont do it again. Unfortunately, they do. I know this is because they have a problem and i know that its not my fault. I guess i just like to see the best in people.

There has only ever been one time where someone hurt me over such a long period of time that i have never gone back. That cut so very deeply that even to think back to that time, it stings.

I will say this though, every time I do learn something. Whether it is about myself or about the other person i learn a little bit more. This does help me in the future and also helps me understand people.

The outlook i take is this; When something bad happens, we have three choices. We can either let it define us. Let it destroy us or we can let it strengthen us.

I follow the third.
I need to follow this mantra in the first instance, not the second, third, forth or fifth. The FIRST.

What would happen though if we learnt the easy way? If it didn't hurt? Would we learn as well as what we are meant to OR would it quite simply be forgotten? Maybe, as much as we think it hurts, it doesn't hurt enough and that's why we go back for more? Does it in fact need to hurt more for us to learn? Is that what defines how many times we put ourselves out there?

These are questions i think only the individual can answer. What i know is, i am going to try damned hard in future to remember to learn the first time. That way i may not only save time but i may save my feelings as well.

Unless it involves this:

I will happily do the same thing again and again for the right person! xoxo